Today I woke up in the clouds, and it has continued on this way. The fog in Beaufort has refused to lift, and when it feels like it will dissipate, it returns, stubbornly. The world seems fuzzy, uncertain, and I can’t shake the feeling, many feelings.
When I decided to start this blog with my daughter, I intended to highlight the beauty life has to offer. I wanted to keep it as positive and light as possible for my daughter and, frankly, for all of us. However, I am not naive enough to think that life is without its hardships and sorrows. I knew I would have to confront something heartbreaking and would have to figure out how to process it while raising a child, our daughter.
What happened in Minneapolis yesterday is, without a doubt, horrific and disgusting. So many questions flooded my mind, so many feelings surfaced: anger, sadness, disillusionment, heartbreak, confusion. Why? Why did this happen? Why is a mother dead? How will I explain this act of violence to my daughter? How can I make a difference when I feel so powerless? How has our country been reduced to this?
No matter how you want to slice this, a woman is dead. And if you saw the video, you’ll clearly see that it was senseless, avoidable, and cowardly. We choose to believe that we are the greatest country in the world. To my core, I still believe this. I choose to believe this every day. But I can’t help but feel doubt follow me like a shadow when things like this happen. It should NOT happen. And we deserve leadership that upholds our American ideals while leading with compassion, empathy, and understanding. This is where we are being let down.
Tonight I will hold my daughter a little tighter, and I will hope. We can’t lose hope. We mustn’t lose hope. Hope is a choice, and in the midst of this tragedy, we need to hold on to it.
My sincerest condolences go out to Renee Good’s family. I know not even an infinite amount of words, thoughts, or prayers can soften the sorrow they must be feeling. My heart goes out to them, wholeheartedly.
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